Mourning Her Father’s Loss, Simone Biles’ Former Teammate Expresses Hitting Rock Bottom: ‘Punish Myself’

Former Gymnast and Simone Biles’ Ex-Teammate Opens Up About Hitting Rock Bottom After Her Father’s Sudden Death

In an emotionally raw confession on her YouTube channel, a former elite gymnast—once a teammate of Simone Biles—revealed that her father’s unexpected passing sent her spiraling into a state of despair and self-blame. The loss, which struck suddenly on January 13 when her father died of a heart attack, has left an indelible mark on her mental health and sense of self.

Overwhelming Grief and Crushing Guilt

The athlete described the moment of loss as a tidal wave that overwhelmed her, leaving her feeling isolated and unable to process the shock. “I can’t believe it’s real,” she confessed, her voice heavy with sorrow. In the aftermath of her father’s death, she began to question whether her own actions played a role in his untimely passing—a thought that plunged her into a deep, self-imposed punishment.

“I need to repent for a lot of the things that I did,” she revealed in her video. “Just because you made mistakes doesn’t mean that if you hadn’t, everything would have turned around. I held on to the regret and the guilt as a way to punish myself… It was like the last piece of him I had.”

A Battle With Self-Blame

For her, mourning was not limited to missing the irreplaceable presence of her father. It evolved into an internal struggle where every misstep and every memory became a source of painful self-recrimination. The athlete admitted that she continuously replayed moments in her mind, wondering if she could have done something differently—if perhaps she could have prevented the tragedy. This constant cycle of guilt, she said, has kept her locked in a state of emotional limbo, where moving on feels nearly impossible.

The Toll on an Elite Athlete

Once celebrated on the international stage, the former gymnast now speaks candidly about the dark side of high-level competition—where personal losses and the relentless pursuit of perfection intersect. Her confession sheds light on the rarely discussed emotional burdens carried by athletes, regardless of their public success. Despite her past achievements and the camaraderie she once shared with teammates like Simone Biles, the pain of losing her father has forced her to confront vulnerabilities that she’d long kept hidden.

A Call for Compassion and Healing

Her story is a stark reminder that even those who appear strong and unbreakable can be deeply affected by personal tragedy. By sharing her struggle, she hopes to encourage others—especially fellow athletes—to seek help and to recognize that self-forgiveness is a crucial step toward healing. Her message resonates with anyone who has ever felt that they were not enough or that their mistakes defined them.

As she continues to navigate this painful chapter, she remains determined to find a path forward—a path that honors her father’s memory while allowing her the space to heal. Her candid admission not only underscores the importance of mental health care but also calls on the broader sports community to support its members in their darkest moments.

In sharing her truth, this former gymnast offers both a cautionary tale and a beacon of hope: no matter how far down one might fall, there is always a way to begin the long journey back toward self-compassion and recovery.