Kim Kardashian Talks Difficult Relationship With Ex-Husband Kanye West

Kim Kardashian is dishing out her true feelings about ex-husband Kanye West in the new season of Hulu’s The Kardashians.

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In the premiere episode of season three, which dropped today, Kardashian gets real about how she has suffered emotionally because of the rapper, particularly following their divorce, during a tearful conversation with mom Kris Jenner. She also discusses her frustrations over West’s often-erratic online behaviour, and how her efforts to protect their kids have been at odds with her desires to express her truth about her ex.

“I spent my whole morning having an anxiety attack,” Kardashian says tearfully to Jenner. “I felt like I just couldn’t breathe all day. You know when you just are on the verge of tears, it’s like your throat is about to cry? That’s how I felt all day.”

Kardashian adds that she finds it unfair the way West reveals so many of their private family matters to the public while unloading his own grievances, when she has always spoken positively of him in public.

“Sometimes, Kanye will say to me, ‘Can I have approval on what you say about me on your show?’” she reveals. “And I will say, ‘Well, you just talked about me in this song, this song, this interview, this interview, and you didn’t ask my permission.’”

“Even through all the craziness of things that Kanye says about us, like, I never comment, I never post,” she adds. “I have to sit here and not say anything ever because I know one day my kids will appreciate that and I know that’s the best thing for them.”

The SKIMS founder adds that she has been particularly mindful about the way she talks about West to their four kids—North, Saint, Chicago, and Psalm—having constantly gone out of her way to paint him in a positive light.

“And by the way, I’m the one where shit can be going down and I get in the car and every day the kids want to blast Dad’s music,” she tells Jenner. “I’m like, ‘He’s the best! Yeah!’ And I put it on and we’re singing along and inside I’m like dying because I will be his biggest cheerleader to them forever and one day they will see for themselves and I will answer whatever they want me to.”

Kardashian also tells her mom about the false “protector” persona West puts out. “The one who does interviews saying they’re my ‘forever protector’ is the one hurting me the most,” she says.

“I never say anything bad,” Kardashian continues. “I never say anything negative. If I say, ‘I’m exhausted,’ I feel guilty about that. I am fucking exhausted.”