CELEBRITY
SHOCK: Keanu Reeves refuses to give Lifetime Achievement Award to Whoopi Goldberg: “She’s not a good person” “she doesn’t deserve it”…See More
Keanu Reeves is one of the nicest, most genuine people in Hollywood. Whoopi Goldberg, on the other hand, was recently voted “most hated person” in Tinsel Town, a distinction nobody seems to be able to refute.
Reeves was chosen to present this year’s Lifetime Achievement award by the TV Production Committee, a role he was honored to take on…until he heard that he’d have to share the stage and present the award to Whoopi Goldberg.
“She’s not a nice person,” said Reeves in a voice that almost sounded like he was addressing Rufus outside the Circle K, “I don’t want to be remembered as the guy who made that mistake.”
Justin Timberlake, Wynona Ryder, and Gloria Estefan also declined. They’re still waiting to hear back from Jackie and Kelso, who desperately need something different to happen in their lives, but nobody seems to be able to find them.
“We believe those two are probably in a ravine somewhere after losing their social media following to the worst apology video ever recorded,” said Ravine Captain Joe Barron of the 136th Marine Paralegal Unit, “We’re just gonna start here in LA and go from ravine to ravine until we find them.”
Others believe that they may also be in a shallower thing, such as a ditch or even a puddle, but everyone agrees they are likely dead from embarrassment, joining their careers. Topher Grace was unavailable for comment, once again leaving his dignity intact.
Reeves said there’s no way he’ll change his mind, no matter how dumb the story gets. God Bless America.
3 MINUTES AGO! Panic in Meghan’s mansion! Holding her daughter tight, she sat trembling as U.S. police demanded, ‘Where is Harry?’ Tears streaming, Meghan confessed in anguish: ‘My husband has…’ Moments later, William delivered the devastating emergency message to Britain: ‘With sorrow in my heart, I regret to inform you…’” SEE MORE BELOW
2 MINUTES AGO! “Harry… bow your head,” King Charles’s trembling voice broke the suffocating silence, a wave of sorrow blanketing the palace. Meghan returned with their two children, clutching white flowers, her face carved with grief. No press, no cameras — only the heavy weight of regret. “I am deeply saddened to announce that…” What came next will haunt Britain for generations… SEE MORE BELOW
2 A.M. Last Night! Buckingham Palace confirmed a heartbreaking loss as the family rushed to reunite — all except Harry. Princess Anne wept with swollen eyes, while William leaned on Kate: ‘With broken hearts, we must share the devastating truth…’” SEE MORE BELOW
The skies over America turned black! Meghan Markle, clutching her daughter, ran into a U.S. police station, sobbing loudly: ‘Oh God, my husband has…’ — Prince William received the urgent cable and immediately called for a royal emergency meeting. His tearful voice broke as he cried: ‘Father, my brother…’” SEE MORE BELOW
BUCKINGHAM’S NIGHT OF DESPAIR: William held Kate tightly, sobbing as shadows blanketed the Palace. At 1 a.m., every royal was called to an emergency meeting — except Harry. The press was barred at the gates. Suddenly, King Charles’s voice tore through the night: ‘Oh, my wife has…’” SEE MORE BELOW
Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce bought a tiny diner that let him eat on credit during his college days, converting the eatery to feed 120 homeless people every day. It was all because of a promise he made to someone special when he was a high school student.
15 MINUTES AGO! Meghan Markle, holding her son Archie, delivered IMPORTANT NEWS from America. The entire Palace was left in shock and sorrow as her trembling voice cried out: ‘My Harry and my Lilibet are being…’” SEE MORE BELOW
OMG 5 MINUTES AGO! Princess Anne Breaks Her Silence: The Truth About Diana’s Forged Letter That Could Shatter Camilla’s Royal Standing…. full details below
MIDNIGHT SHOCK! ‘Bow your heads…’ Cries echoed from Buckingham Palace, plunging Britain into a sleepless night. The princes gathered once more, as Harry cast aside past resentments and took up the white cloth: ‘Oh my God, he has…’” SEE MORE BELOW
